Step 1 - Count to Ten
Montessori’s approach helps children become more confident and independent, develop critical thinking skills and foster an environment for children to become life long learners. We also pass to the children the importance of taking care of their environment(both in the home and out in the community).
The Montessori approach to parenting is also a great way to appreciate the uniqueness of your child, rather than constantly worrying about hitting every single milestone.
This simply means to step back and give children the time and space to do as much for themselves as possible. In the chaos of everyday life, it can be easy to jump in and do things for our children (dress them, feed them, etc). Montessori encourages caregivers to wait until children ask for help (or become visibly frustrated) before offering assistance. Montessori also encourages children to participate in everyday practical life activities like food prep, cleaning, and self-care (dressing, brushing hair, wiping up after a meal). This gives children the ability to develop more independence and feel the self-satisfaction of caring for themselves.
Step 2 - Follow Your Child
You’ll hear this phrase a lot in the Montessori community. It means to observe the child closely to understand their needs and interests. It can be difficult for young children to verbalize their needs but close observation can help us figure it out. This will not only make parenting much easier, helping to understand and help with those unspoken needs, but also help us learn their interests. In very young children, it could be the development of certain movements. Have you ever seen your child repeatedly line up their cars or open and close the cupboard doors? This is their innate desire to develop a specific skill. In older children, this could be nature, cooking, building, etc. We can foster a love of learning by providing opportunities to explore these interests, which is often different from traditional education that tends to be more “one size fits all”.
Step 3 - Go to Their Level
As parents, it can be frustrating when our children become upset over things we perceive to be small issues, like a broken banana or pyjamas that can’t be worn because they’re in the laundry. But when we step back and think about how new to the world our small children still are, and how complex and confusing everything around them can feel, we gain insight and empathy. Choosing pyjamas and enjoying a snack is their world right now. Those are the important things to them. The more we recognize this, the more empathy we can have for these tiny humans, and this will help us validate their feelings and emotions, offering support rather than a raised voice.
Montessori encourages respectful communication, shown through speaking calmly, making eye contact (which often requires getting down to their level), and listening to their thoughts and concerns.
